Eloping is a way to get married in a way that reflects who you are. It’s a small, intimate and intentional ceremony, often featuring just the couple or a very small number of guests. This allows couples to truly express themselves, without following traditional wedding expectations that might not be for them.
I truly find elopements to be a beautiful and romantic way to get married, away from the hustle and bustle of large venue weddings. It’s a choice that many couples make intentionally, and no longer means that you have to run away to Las Vegas (like Ross and Rachel, even after they were on a break).
Well, the secret trip to Vegas can be an elopement. But there’s a whole range of options at your disposal when it comes to planning your ceremony. It doesn’t have to be secretive or shameful, and you can travel to almost anywhere to tie the knot together. What could be more romantic than doing things entirely your own way?
So, if you’re seeking a unique way to tie the knot, elopement might be just what you’re looking for. Whether you’re dreaming of a small ceremony with just the two of you, have a few guests in mind, or want to get married somewhere unconventional (think beaches, mountains, boats – it doesn’t have to be in a chapel) we’ll uncover the possibilities and benefits of choosing to elope.
The Evolution of Elopements
The Historical Meaning of Eloping
The old idea of an elopement is a secretive wedding where the bride and groom run away to another location. Historically, couples would elope when their marriage was forbidden. This could happen for lots of reasons, but some of the most common were:
- The bride’s father refused to give permission. Yep, as outdated as it is to us nowadays, a daughter essentially belonged to her father until she was married (hence the tradition of “giving the bride away” when he walks her up the aisle). A father would also be expected to provide a “dowry,” or payment of wealth, to the groom and his family, which gave him even more control. Love may or may not have played a role in who the bride married. If the father had refused a potential suitor, elopement was a way for a couple who were in love to marry anyway.
- Religious reasons. Marriage between faiths was difficult, and often a bride would be expected to marry someone from within their own faith. In 1773, Betsy Ross (who probably didn’t really create the first flag of the USA, but it’s a great story) eloped with a future Founding Father, George Ross Jr. Ross wasn’t a Quaker like Betsy, and their marriage caused her expulsion from the Quaker congregation and a split from her family.
- Circumventing laws. Sometimes marriage laws forbid a couples’ marriage in one country or state, which would be legal in another. The couple may elope to have a legal marriage. The famous elopement destination of Gretna Green in Scotland traces its origins back to 1753, when couples under the age of 21 in England were forbidden to marry without their parents’ consent. As Scotland had no such law, young couples began travelling to Gretna Green to get hitched, one of the closest and easily accessible villages over the Scottish border. The ceremonies would take place in the village blacksmith’s shop. It is still an incredibly popular destination for eloping couples today.
- Urgency. Sometimes a quickie wedding was needed, and this could mean eloping to a church or wedding venue away from familiar folk. For example, pregnancy outside of marriage was considered shameful, so elopements would occur to ensure that the baby was born inside of wedlock. During World War Two, many young couples eloped so that they were legally married before the man was called up for active service.
The Modern Meaning of Elopement
In 2024, the laws around who can marry are less restrictive. For this reason, the meaning of elopement has changed to reflect the times we’re living in. In fact, elopements have been gaining in popularity since the early 2020s, fuelled by the pandemic and changing celebrity fashions. It’s no longer something shameful, or secretive, but something to be celebrated.
So what exactly is the meaning of an elopement today? For the couples that I photograph, It’s more about expressing themselves than escaping.
It’s for people who don’t want the big fancy wedding ceremony. For many, this is what they imagined when they thought about their dream wedding. But they’re certainly not for everyone. Some people just want a smaller, more intimate day, with a close selection of loved ones around them.
In 2024, elopement means a smaller, more low-key wedding, with limited guests. Eloping is a way to ensure that only your nearest and dearest come along.
For others, it’s about breaking free of tradition and expressing themselves. Getting married is all about you and your partner, and for many, getting married in a way that shows who they are as a couple is as romantic as it gets.
In short, an elopement is a wedding day that is all about what YOU want.
A Unique Way To Marry
As the meaning of eloping continues to transform, it has become a deliberate decision for couples to have control over their wedding day, to create a more meaningful and personalized experience, and to prioritize their own happiness and needs.
I love the fact that elopement trends continue to shift and develop over time. With more couples opting for intimate ceremonies that represent their unique love stories, new ideas come into fruition and give inspiration to others. From exploring new elopement destinations, including picturesque mountains, serene beaches, charming cityscapes, or even marrying overseas; to incorporating modern values into your ceremony such as same-sex weddings, the options are almost limitless when it comes to eloping.
Is Eloping the same as an Intimate Wedding?
While an elopement shares some similarities with a micro-wedding, or intimate wedding, there are key differences which set them apart.
The contrast between elopements and traditional weddings lies in the intimacy and personalization that elopements offer, providing couples with the opportunity to focus solely on their love and commitment. It is a complete break from any tradition, and sometimes may not include any other guests.
Whereas an intimate wedding offers the opportunity for a more personalized experience, but will usually include more guests than an elopement and some of the classic wedding traditions. They’re very similar to a traditional wedding, but on a smaller scale.
Why Have An Elopement Instead Of A Traditional Wedding?
So now we’ve cleared up that an elopement doesn’t require you to run away in secret. So what are the benefits of eloping over a traditional wedding ceremony? The reasons are as varied as the couples who do it, but here are some of the most common reasons:
You have full control of your wedding
A traditional wedding can sometimes become an event for the benefit of your guests, rather than yourself. Eloping allows you to fully control the day, and not worry about traditions or organising a big party. The main benefit of an elopement is that nothing is “expected,” so you can make your day whatever you want it to be.
An elopement is adventurous.
An elopement is way more than a wedding ceremony. It’s a whole experience, dedicated to your love for each other. And if you have a love of adventure, what better way to express it than by eloping? Whether you want to hike in the woods, climb a mountain, head to the beach, go on a riverboat cruise, or even sit in an open field and have a quiet lunch with your partner and closest loved ones, the choice is yours. Elopement means that you get to choose your own adventure, without being restricted by traditional expectations.
There are an abundance of elopement destinations in the USA, so there’s something for every couple.
Manage Costs
The lower cost of an elopement is another reason. Recent figures suggest that the average cost of a wedding in the USA is $28,000. With the cost of living increasing for people across the country, this sum may be out of reach for many. And that kind of money could go towards something longer lasting than a one-day ceremony, like a down payment on the home you’re going to share with your forever partner. Eloping allows you to control costs much more effectively: from choosing an outdoor venue that doesn’t have a hiring cost, to reducing the number of guests to cater for.
Eloping is less stressful
Planning a wedding day can be intense. And that’s simply not for everyone. From managing guests, sorting transportation, finding a dress or suits, choosing the right venue, arranging catering, trying out color schemes, it can be easy to lose focus on the really important part of the day: your commitment to one another. Elopements strip back the complexity of your wedding day and allow you to relax and enjoy the first day of the rest of your lives together.
Control your guest list
Large weddings can be logistical nightmares. Some people will be offended if they’re not invited. You need to organize who sits where, which isn’t easy if everyone doesn’t get along. There’s a balancing act between the number of guests on the bride’s side and the groom’s. If sorting this isn’t something you’ll enjoy, then an elopement means you won’t have to. Simply invite those closest to you, and don’t deal with the headache of guest management.
With fewer guests, comes an altogether easier day. Where you can focus on you and your partner, enjoy each other’s company and not have to stick to a rigid wedding day timeline.
Elopement Photography
Photographing an elopement is unlike a traditional wedding. With less control over lighting, challenges presented by natural elements and being in unfamiliar locations, it is important to choose a photographer who understand this and can still capture amazing photographs of your day.
I am a specialist in elopements and have traveled for weddings widely across the USA. Whether you want to get married close to your home, or have me travel with you to a location further away, I can help you out with your big day.
Keen to learn more? Get in touch and we can get you booked in for a virtual or in-person chat to start the planning for your elopement.
